Should I Avocado or Avacadon’t?

Smashed avocado on a piece of sourdough toast? Yes, thanks.

You have a newfound love for avocados. What once looked like a green mango and tasted bland as bark, is now a sign of status, gentrification and fatty goodness.

If you don’t then you are not an adult.

It’s as simple as that.

Small Talk

Being good at small talk is something everyone hates to admit as it’s cool to hate it. But what’s not to dislike?

if you’re bad at it, just ask people about their weekend and nod slowly and smile. No, don’t grit your teeth.

Oh and throw in a few “How was that?” “Really?” and “No way!”

For example:

“I am so happy you have started growing your own mango tree in the tropical climate of the United Kingdom. Please continue to update me regarding its growth.” (No offence to mango tree growers).

Mid-life crisis? No. Meet the quarter-life crisis.

If you haven’t already second-guessed your professional careers, questioned your purpose in life and realised why you weren’t born a nepo kid then you aren’t adulting just yet. Brad-Angelina kids I envy you.

Living at Home

With increasing house prices and stagnating salaries, it’s no wonder why a lot of us want to shack up with our birth-givers. Boo to the naysayers (who are boomers, usually). Millennials are statistically less likely to buy their own homes as they struggle to save up for their deposits. The Guardian newspaper thinks it’s because we love avocados so much. I told you, it’s true.

Joint Problems

So you just bent down to re-tie your laces on your trainers. Snap! Crackle! Pop! No, it wasn’t the sound of rice crispies but in fact your back. You’re too hunched over your laptop in your desk job that you don’t sit up to stretch – Just blame inflation for this one as well.

Another thing that indicates that you are adulting (and that you are moving into the higher age brackets on questionnaires) is the realisation that your joints are showing their age. Stock up on that Omega-3 and Vit D!